I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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