I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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