were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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