ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
