Me too!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
