if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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