But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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