no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
