I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
