You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize