Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
