If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
