Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize