No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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