So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
