so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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