What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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