Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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