She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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