Where is the hickey?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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