Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
