One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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