Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
