So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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