I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i out mim tonsoeep
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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