My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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