I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
