His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
