I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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