Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
