I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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