Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize