Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
