Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Text me some of your sweat
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
