He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
