i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
These tits shall not be calmed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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