Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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