I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
