I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
