i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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