Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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