Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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