i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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