i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
