Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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