Moan for me like Helen Keller
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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