Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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