He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
