i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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