he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
