She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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