Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
