Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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