All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i love accidental penises.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
