hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
