Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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