Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
