Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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