Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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