finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
